It’s been difficult to write. Last month, my friend and housemate’s death in a rock climbing accident increased my feelings of vulnerability and isolation. I’m still struggling with putting the exact range and scope of emotions into words. Less than a week after the accident I was scheduled to leave for rehab at Neuroworks. I debated cancelling the trip. I felt guilty for the chance to escape our shared living space, her parent’s visit, and the business of death’s logistics. It felt inappropriate and easy. Like running away. But I went. And I’m glad I did.

My first visit to Neuroworx was in May. Going back five months later was a chance to do some direct comparisons, appreciate progress, and make new goals. I continue to be impressed with the therapists and the facility there. Somehow this visit was even better than my first. Like last time, I stayed for a week and did a morning and an afternoon session each day. I also took lunchtime group fitness classes and used some of their exercise equipment. So, all together, I did nothing but try hard and eat from 10 until 4 every day.

The differences I most appreciate are my huge gains in strength and endurance. Even that crazy schedule didn’t drain all my energy. I also spent most of the sessions upright or walking. My first visit I walked only on the first and the last day. I did a lot of exercises in upright kneel or otherwise supported. This visit I walked or stood every session. We focused on my balance and normalizing my gait. I practiced using crutches. In the summer, when I was planning this visit, I fantasized about walking at Neuroworx with crutches. But in my imagination, I no longer needed the right knee brace. I expected my right quad to be stronger by October. I don’t know why the healing process is so different and so slow on this side. I worry about never getting that function back.

On a more positive note, I’m really happy with how much my walking improved. Here is a video of me successfully standing up from seated. The maneuver includes swinging both crutches out in front of you at the same time, which feels a little bit like a trust fall. It looks a lot less dramatic than it felt those first few times:

And here is a video of me walking:

I’m really proud of my balance here. And though my steps are still small and slow, I know I’m still making serious progress.

Thanks so much to the High Fives Foundation for covering the the cost of the trip and the therapy. This was an amazing opportunity that let me focus on so much positive. If you want to see more photos and videos from therapy, check out the ‘Photos‘ section of this blog.