My favorite part of weddings was always the dancing. This past weekend I went to one held on a “farm” near Carmel. I had my hesitations: what if the terrain is too rough? What shoes should I wear? Will my dress fit? The main reason for all these questions was my grand plan to forego the wheelchair and spend the day and a half in my walker and braces. Also, because this is vacation season and all hotels and b&bs nearby are incredibly expensive, we decided to sleep in the car. So, basically, we maximized the adventure potential of a Carmel wedding.

Somehow, we (Ben) packed my foam mattress, sleeping bags, recumbent bike, wheelchair, walker, leg braces and some clothing all into one car. (I now fully appreciate all toaster-shaped vehicles!) Saturday I shuffled through the windy, wooded paths to the ceremony, to cocktails, to dinner, to cake. It was wonderful. I was slow and awkward and always looking for a place to put down my drink… But again I noticed the difference in how people treated walker-Alina vs. wheelchair-Alina. And probably part of how people react to me is based on how I feel in those two modes.

In the evening, once the music started, I was suddenly dancing… Walker was pushed aside and I grabbed onto Ben’s shoulders. Every song was danced as a pseudo-slow-song but I didn’t mind. The other wedding-goers were pretty encouraging of my dancing.

I think I’ll try to do this more for parties and social gatherings. In a wheelchair I’m staring at people’s crotches when we talk. I’m large and it feels like the chair creates a physical barrier between me and people. I have to be careful or I run into feet or I get tripped over. The walker is a much more stealthy tool. Once I’m upright I can easily do the small amount of walking that’s required. I can stand with my drink and look into people’s faces. Or I can sit and tuck it out of the way. These small things make a big difference.