I’m sad I missed some of the updates. These past weekends have included lots of good days. But work and distraction takes over the weekdays, and I haven’t been writing. I want to tell you about doing stairs. The small set, here and there. And three San Francisco flights. The steep, wooden kind with the wobbly banister. I love casting out in the braces and walker, leaving my wheelchair like leaving a boat behind in the ocean. I visited friends in Oakland with Fiona. The first time I met them, I was princess carried to the beautiful old factory space, mid-renovation. We sat and ate pancakes on stereo speakers in the middle of the gutted kitchen. Well, I was in the wheelchair, which was princess-carries up after me.

That was in March. In August I went up those stairs with just a banister and a shoulder. I walked inside their house and we ate dinner on a coffee table in the living room. Circling back helps me appreciate the changes. Their house gained most of a kitchen and a living room. I gained a lot more upright potential. We opened champagne to celebrate. I’m making progress. I’ll visit again in a couple of months. And then I’ll be without a right leg brace, perhaps. Or with crutches instead of walker. I couldn’t see the path to my current mobility back in March. So I have to accept not knowing now, either, but trust it exist and I will walk it.

I also started biking without the e-assist. No more cheating on the hills. I practiced a lot on my local rollers — retracing the path I had done assisted so I knew how much it would push me. My left thigh is starting to look familiar from all the work. I have the contours of a real quad and the soreness is back like an old habit. My right is still a stick, but moving! I talk to it a lot while biking. I send all my mental energy down to that side. I have to concentrate or it drops out of the equation and my pedaling is an unequal arc, a series of swipes by the left.

My proudest bike ride yet was 10 miles through the USCS campus. No e-assist! And the whole first half of the ride was uphill. Santa Cruz is substantially more hilly than my corner of the Bay Area. It took me three hours to complete the ride and I was hurting by the end. I’d love to come back to this loop when I’m stronger and blast up all the steep sections without hesitation or pushes.